I once read a plaque that said, "The family you come from is important, but what is more important is the family you leave behind". That is one way to look at the past you cannot change and the future that is yours to create. What is also important is to enjoy the present so you will not regret the past. It also helps you to look forward to the future. That is why my family is more important to me than my business, my politics, or my own personal agendas. When those things threaten the wellbeing of my home life, they get shelved. Period.

Cindi and I have been married for 29 years now, and it has been well worth the suffering we endured as we were both shaped by our mistakes and our challenges. We are happier together now than we have ever been, and we look forward to many more years of exciting adventures. I don't think you ever stop growing in wisdom and maturing if you are open to admitting that you have not yet peaked. Once I was buying Cindi a pair of earrings for some occasion, and the clerk asked how long we had been married. Now, this girl was in her early twenties, so it made quite an impression when I said we'd between married (at that time) for 22 years. She furrowed her brow and said, "I'm afraid of getting married. People change so much." I replied, "Of course they do. It's called growing up. When I got married, I was an idiot. The change has been good!" I certainly meant no harm, but she looked at me as if I had inferred that she must be an idiot at her age as well.

Parenting has been a whole 'nuther ball game. Cindi is the typical "hands on" mom with eyes in the back of her head. She knows everything the kids are up to and knows all the right questions. I can't tell if it is because she is really all that smart or if it's because she wrote the book on being a difficult child when she was growing up. I, on the other hand, was such a peach that I just cannot believe it when the kids are devious or defiant. Or maybe I'm just dumb...

Donnie and Sara are both musically inclined, but the similarities end there. Sara is hard-headed and demanding while Donnie was always compliant and low-maintenance. Just as I got used to one kind of kid, God gives us the other. I hear that happens a lot.

Donnie is one of the worship leaders at the Vineyard, a non-denominational church in Gainesville. The rest of us used to attend there, but when Sara became a teenager I wanted her to be at a church with a more structured youth group. We left the Vineyard on good terms and with no outstanding grudges. We realize that every church has its strong suit and its weak suit, and that youth ministry was, at that time, its weakness. We now attend 1st Assembly of God and Sara spent time there as a member of the youth worship band.

In other news, Sara is getting married next year. I know. She is my baby, too young, and all that stuff. But when you get married at 19, that kind of argument gets very little traction with your kids. If Mom and Dad got married as impetuous youth, then it must be OK. Well, I am glad to say that our kids have decided not to emulate all the dumb things we did. For one, Sara is marrying someone she has known for a long time; whereas, Cindi and I met in a bar 8 months before tying the knot. The date is set at July 27, 2007.

Donnie's band, Officer Flossie, is putting out some CDs of their music soon. For now, they are frequently playing at one of the downtown clubs in Gainesville, or playing somewhere else is the southeastern US. There is not much money in it at this point, but there are a lot of girls who would take a bullet for him. And I guess that is worth something...

Our church is included in this family page because this is our extended family, in a way. You don't choose the family you were born with, but there are people you do choose to share your life with. They are your friends, and they are most often made out of convenience: you work together, live nearby, or attend the same functions. We have chosen to make our closest friends from among those with whom we share the same faith, hope, and values. There are still differences of opinion on many subjects, but our foundation is still the Grace of God through Jesus Christ. And that is what gets us past the differences.

Last edited: 06/12/2007