Dumb things I have seen

Before you have your home built, or before you accessorize it, hear what I have to say about some of the bad investments I have seen over the past 23 years. It costs nothing to read this and it may save you money and frustration and heartache.

• STUPID SCREENS If the window screens in your house cannot be removed easily from the outside, beware! We see inaccessible screens all the time, and I have heard some of the dumbest, most illogical reasons for having screens that have to be taken off from the inside. The leading dumb reason is: "It's a security measure". Your screens are made of NYLON. It's nothing a razor knife cannot take out of the way. A burglar does not care about keeping your screens intact. Whatever lame excuse you hear from your builder or real estate professional, screens that have to be removed from the inside create situations that will make you wish you hadn't installed those decorative interior shutters. These shutters may render it IMPOSSIBLE to tilt in or remove the window that you have to tilt in or remove in order to take out the screen. Likewise, some alarm systems, when thoughtlessly installed, may also keep your from being able to get the screens out for the same reason. If you still like windows that tilt in or are removable (and comes in handy in some cleaning situations), you can still get them with screens that come out from the outside. And if you are the least bit clever, you can still take them out from the outside if you really have to.
• FAKE MULLIONS If you like the appearance of French windows and doors...buy actual French windows and doors. These fake plastic grills that lay flush against the glass make it hard for anyone, professional or otherwise, to do a good job of cleaning your windows, and I will tell you why. It makes it hard to clean the windows with a squeegee. Water gets trapped between the grill and the glass, only to drip across the clean glass later. Furthermore, dead bugs and debris get trapped under the grill and make the windows look nasty. There are also wooden grills that come off, but it is usually pretty rough on the grills, that are usually glued together like Tinker-Toys, and they eventually fall apart due to the wear and tear.
• AFTER MARKET TINT It gets scratched. It may bubble off eventually or start to peel. It may also void the warrantee on your insulated double glass. Come to think of it, almost anything will void the warrantee. But that's another subject. If you want tinted glass, get glass that is actually tinted at the factory.
• INSULATED DOUBLE PANES Unfortunately, we are stuck with these. Most building codes seem to require them for energy saving purposes. I have done hundreds of homes and every one of them that has these windows has at least one window that is fogged up with a bad seal. Some have MANY fogged up windows, creating a real eyesore. If you must have them, try to keep them out of direct sunlight. I know that sounds crazy, but the ones that fog up first and most often are the ones that have to endure the greatest extremes of heat and cold. The seal gets hot and cold, hot and cold, 365 days a year. The seal expands and contracts until it cracks; and it will. When the window gets hot, the air in between the panes expands and gets squeezed out. Then, when it cools, the lowering pressure in between causes it to suck in our 100% Florida humidity. THAT'S where the moisture comes from. It's NOT from your sprinkler system, power-washing, using ammonia on the glass, or any other lame reason the manufacturer will give you for why their product is an engineering train wreck at the end of your tunnel. Check out this article from a popular handyman website.